*UPDATE*

Today I learned that if you publish a post from a draft,you had better change the date. My latest post is second in line. I'm feeling realllly bright about now.

Recommended every 2 years after 50!

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Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous….. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3. “Can you hear me NOW?”

4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”

8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!

10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

11. “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”

12 . “God, now I know why I am not gay.”

And the best one of all..

13. “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”

I Don't Know Jack

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… What happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

I Think I have Finally Got The Hang Of ............

How the world works lately…

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,
he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day
For 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, they blame the bartender.

If your grandchildren are brats with no manners, you blame TV.

If your friend is shot by a
deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to
understand the world as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer,
I want all of you to blame Bill Gates

Sunday Sites

Hello all, Yes,I know I should have stayed home today and mowed the lawn. Yes,I know it is going to rain all week and the grass will be another 2 inches higher before the rain stops so I can mow. I also know that I will hate myself for putting this off(I usually don't do this)But sometimes you just have to say the heck with it. It was so beautiful today(too beautiful to work)and there won't be a lot more of these days before winter sets in. Fall is my favorite time of year to site see soooooooo,I hit the road and this is some of the things I saw today. You can enlarge these photo's if you like.


Antique stores and gift shops and a one stop light town,I found heaven. This is Cave Springs, Georgia,such a charming little Town.


Inside one of the antique stores we went in





Isn't fall such a beautiful time of year?






Enlarge this photo....What do YOU see in this tree trunk?


Wow,I want this done to my old tree stumps


I just can't help it,I Love these old houses

Let's Go for a Ride!

I don't know if any of you have noticed but I have been kind of speechless for the last couple of weeks. Most of the time this is when I would normally go for a ride or shopping. Come along with me and this is what you might see. Some think I live in the sticks but for me,it's home.

The view from my front yard


This is what you see pulling out of my driveway


Ok,here we go

I love to see cotton growing

Moving right along

This was inside of a restaurant where we had breakfast







We almost got ran over trying to take this one

I just love these antebellum homes

In Walks The Dog...........

Dinner for 8......$250


Wine for guest....$100


Centerpiece.......$30


Your family is there,


Your boss and his wife are there,


The Minister and his wife are there,


Your all settling down for a


nice relaxing evening dinner,


Then


in


walks


the


dog.....


.........


..........


...........


PRICELESS!





....for everything else there's Mastercard.